Anniversary

Sometime this month is the year anniversary of first discovering Tokio Hotel...or rather finding a picture of Bill and wondering who the heck that was, what did he look like without the make-up and big hair (which I discovered was just as nice as he looks with) and why did they spell Tokio that way. So I found their site, listened to Scream and Monsoon and fell in love with the music. And then started listening to the music...and went through some profound changes because of it.

It's been a year...can I say that one band, four guys (no longer boys) from Germany who play something labeled alternately "glam rock" (hate that term), "alternative rock" (okay) or "emo" (not accurate either, imo) is the reason I'm not who I was a year ago? Quite possibly yes.

I've made changes based on observations of what was and wasn't authentic, positive and fulfilling in my life. I've become more outspoken, more self-sufficient and generally more positive. Can I say happier? Yes, I think I can.

All because of music? Hell yes. Music has a huge impact on the human brain. Music can be used for all kinds of therapy. I've learned to use Tokio Hotel to take my mind off of my chronic pain; migraines or arthritis, both of which have decreased over the past year. Months have gone by without an arthritis flare and the ones I have had were relatively short lived. Migraines are better controlled with less addictive drugs. No more House in this house.

I write now...I write reviews of Tokio Hotel music, for the pure pleasure of writing about them and having other fans read and enjoy what I've written. I've earned money writing on various sites; articles and fiction and have more in the works. I have a budding new business in the works as well...I am self-sufficient and I can take care of myself. I still have a brick and mortar business to go to, but I've learned to enjoy myself there, even working for someone else. I am a more authentic version of me and even though I'm stuck in a building, in a cubicle, at a desk, I am making that job my own.

On the fun side: a new (first) tattoo, hair color and soon to be new ear piercing.

I am a better version of myself; still me, but a better me, the me I'm supposed to be. Not an automatic version; I'm trying to live each moment, even if it's one of the more mundane moments. That doesn't mean I don't have doubts and sadness and bleak moments. I do...but they are in perspective, I can handle them. I'm not perfect, and not expecting to be. But I'm learning to be the me I have the potential to be.

All because of a chance photo of some kid from Germany with big hair and eyeliner. How cool is that?