Lost Job, Interesting Dream...

The last temp job let me go unexpectedly and I can't say I'm not unhappy or terribly disappointed, but surprised by the reasons (mostly mad because I was misunderstood)...but that's not important. The interesting thing is this:

The call came on Saturday morning (I have a dedicated recruiter that keeps strange office hours, apparently just to tell me bad news) and earlier, after I let the dog out at 4:00 a.m. and had gone back to sleep, I had this dream (before the phone call, which I find really interesting):

I was sitting in an almost empty movie theatre with my boyfriend. He was blonde, blue-eyed, conventional looking; just what a boyfriend was expected to look like, I guess. (I was also about 20, just for a point of reference.) I was holding his hand, and I went to put my arm around him, and he shook me off and got up. He walked down the row of seats, looked back and shook his head at me, and walked out the exit. I got the feeling he wasn't coming back.

I'm unhappy that he's leaving, not because I particularly liked HIM, but because I really felt I needed him somehow, but he wasn't exactly what I needed. He was the expected boyfriend I was supposed to have, but I didn't FEEL like he was right.

(My dreams also are like movies; they have scenes, so the next scene is from the far back of the theatre, from over the shoulder of a guy sitting way in the back to my left, who has been watching all this happen.)

The guy in the back, who looks suspiciously like Bill, with big hair, sunglasses, and all the silver chains, starts working his way up towards where I'm sitting. He walks down the row he's in, down the aisle, down the row behind me, steps OVER the seat a few seats down and sits in a seat one away from me. He never looks at me until I look over at him. He looks at me over the top of his glasses, glances at the empty seat between us and says "Is this seat taken?" I shake my head no and he moves over. And puts his arm around my shoulder.

So is Bill supposed to be my boyfriend? No, not really (would be nice, be that's not the meaning of this dream.)

I'm thinking this is more along the lines of the job that left me, the job that was conventional, looked like all the other jobs I've had and been so-so about, the expected job I'm supposed to have at my age. And that I'm not totally surprised that it left. I went through the motions...was automatic...ha, knew that would come into play there somehow!!! ...and it left me!!! (Okay, Bill et al are brilliant. That song was my New Year's resolution; to be less automatic and more conscious in my actions.)

And the Bill that shows up could be the job that I'm not expecting, the last thing I'd expect and that may actually take some time to work it's way up from the back of the theatre. And when it asks, to say yes, and embrace it.

Lisbon, Portugal...

I think I would like to go to a concert in Europe and I wanted to go to Paris in April...but I think now I would like to also go to Lisbon and visit Elsa...whom I have never met but who is my devoted follower on this blog. I think we would have a fantastic time at the concert, meet and greet the band and hang out together. How fun would that be !!!

(waving at Elsa, across the ocean, 6 hours ahead of me in time and sometimes in a different day...and sometimes speaking a different language...but always united in our love of Tokio Hotel)

Ohhh!!! Jewelry...

The lovely Tokio Hotel bracelet, BK star charm and Designers Against AIDS buttons arrived today. And they are fantastic. It's hard to judge quality online, but these are nice and hefty, not hefty like large, but substantial and good quality...and not cheaply made. The bracelet is kind of an odd size though: if I hook the hook in the round circle like it's meant to, I can slide the bracelet off my hand, but I don't like it if I hook it in one of the links, cuz it distorts the bracelet. Maybe it's a guy's bracelet? huh...

And then there is the lovely star with BK against the black background. Lovely...

The buttons are the best...two with Bill with new hair, one with the middle hair, and one with the DAA logo. Oh, yes, and there's Tom and Gustav and Georg as well!! But after the hair brushing dream, it's nice to see all that lovely hair as hair! They're really good quality, with a little safety catch thing on the back, which I like, since I plan on pinning them on my purse and would hate to have them fall off. But I do believe they will stay put.

New Year, Rough Start

New years are always rough for me...it's never a new fresh start, but a crashing end to the past year. It takes me the month of January to recover it seems.

This time it's been medical and financial...but as always, I come out of it. Sometimes worse for wear, but at least I'm still here.

Interestingly enough, with new meds for the migraines comes really interesting new dreams...seems all medications for migraines carry the side effects of vivid dreams. I have those anyway, but these seem more so. Who would have thought that combing out Bill's faux hawk would have been like combing out one of those Koosh balls from the '80's? Although it was black, not multi-colored orange.

Not sure the reason I was combing out Bill's hair in the first place, but I was apparently in charge of that, he was apparently content to sit on the floor (sitting still on the floor no less; it must have been a dream!!) in front of me as other people came in and out of this very ornate hotel room, and I tried very gently to comb out his hair.

Except...it kept springing back up...and not like hair full of hairspray, but like the wiggly Koosh ball stuff!! Was totally panicky that I was going to get in trouble, but also secretly happy I wasn't making any headway (oh...sorry, bad pun) and that I had to sit there longer and longer and keep combing (actually, it was a brush, not a comb).

I do remember he was sitting on my feet, which had gone to sleep at some point, but be damned if I was going to say anything or move. LOL...I think IRL the dog was sleeping on my feet and they had gone numb (she weighs 80 lbs.)

So, the good side effect of new drugs...funny Tokio Hotel dreams. And there was actually no end to the dream...it just faded away. For all I know, I'm still sitting in a very ornate hotel room in Europe, on a very elegant striped silk sofa, Bill is still sitting on the floor in front of me, apparently still sitting still, I'm still brushing this head full of non-hair ... hair ... for all eternity :) Things could be worse.

But I think I'd miss not having any music from them after a while. Eventually I'd have to let him get up.

Which was actually a convo Alex and I had: where do characters in your dreams (or characters in stories that aren't finished yet; I have lots of those) go and do when you're awake? Do they go off and have lives of their own, or do they patiently wait for you to come back? Do dream Bill and I eventually grow tired of hair combing and step out for a drink and dinner? Do we ever wonder why his hair isn't real and do I ever recover the feeling in my feet? We may never know...