Lost Job, Interesting Dream...

The last temp job let me go unexpectedly and I can't say I'm not unhappy or terribly disappointed, but surprised by the reasons (mostly mad because I was misunderstood)...but that's not important. The interesting thing is this:

The call came on Saturday morning (I have a dedicated recruiter that keeps strange office hours, apparently just to tell me bad news) and earlier, after I let the dog out at 4:00 a.m. and had gone back to sleep, I had this dream (before the phone call, which I find really interesting):

I was sitting in an almost empty movie theatre with my boyfriend. He was blonde, blue-eyed, conventional looking; just what a boyfriend was expected to look like, I guess. (I was also about 20, just for a point of reference.) I was holding his hand, and I went to put my arm around him, and he shook me off and got up. He walked down the row of seats, looked back and shook his head at me, and walked out the exit. I got the feeling he wasn't coming back.

I'm unhappy that he's leaving, not because I particularly liked HIM, but because I really felt I needed him somehow, but he wasn't exactly what I needed. He was the expected boyfriend I was supposed to have, but I didn't FEEL like he was right.

(My dreams also are like movies; they have scenes, so the next scene is from the far back of the theatre, from over the shoulder of a guy sitting way in the back to my left, who has been watching all this happen.)

The guy in the back, who looks suspiciously like Bill, with big hair, sunglasses, and all the silver chains, starts working his way up towards where I'm sitting. He walks down the row he's in, down the aisle, down the row behind me, steps OVER the seat a few seats down and sits in a seat one away from me. He never looks at me until I look over at him. He looks at me over the top of his glasses, glances at the empty seat between us and says "Is this seat taken?" I shake my head no and he moves over. And puts his arm around my shoulder.

So is Bill supposed to be my boyfriend? No, not really (would be nice, be that's not the meaning of this dream.)

I'm thinking this is more along the lines of the job that left me, the job that was conventional, looked like all the other jobs I've had and been so-so about, the expected job I'm supposed to have at my age. And that I'm not totally surprised that it left. I went through the motions...was automatic...ha, knew that would come into play there somehow!!! ...and it left me!!! (Okay, Bill et al are brilliant. That song was my New Year's resolution; to be less automatic and more conscious in my actions.)

And the Bill that shows up could be the job that I'm not expecting, the last thing I'd expect and that may actually take some time to work it's way up from the back of the theatre. And when it asks, to say yes, and embrace it.